Saturday, February 09, 2008


This blog is not dead, it is just recuperating following a binge of hellish proportions. In the mean time you can check out the comments section where there has been some alarmingly impassioned but ultimately inconsequential tittle-tattle, and then check out this footage of Dire Straits on The Old Grey Whistle Test. Back then Punk Rock was in and any A&R scout worth her shitty retainer would have been desperate to sign X-Ray Spex, but this Geordie pub rock band were great and at least someone at Phonogram could see beyond the next line of coke and signed them.


Nasty Rita said...

Inconsequential from your side or from mine?

I just gave up railing for the moment, because you claimed that I was genuinely nasty, curtailing my right of creative opinion by submitting my comments to the board of censors, radically cutting back the buds of freshly germinating emotional fervour.

How could they ever spring up like daisies if you spray around your whole collection of tangy herbicides?

If you don't sue me for frightening the large part of your minor readers and stop appealing to my female disposition of having a sense of responsability and pity towards the oversensitives and less gifted, I will be pleased to start further attempts of revival, as soon as you decide not to discriminate and underchallenge your sophisticated female readers anymore by posting regular's table topics.

I think I should mobilize your female readers' community to avenge our Rita.


Owen said...


Alexander said...


Nasty Rita said...

So that's all you two guys got to say while Mr. Talbot is taking a sabbatical leave?

Just consuming in any sense.

You wouldn't give a rat's ass about it, if our Rita was your mentally retarded neighbour and their parents approved her sexual abuse wouldn't you?

As long as your play-station works. ("Some people keep their brains between their legs").

Want some more tittle-tattle? Gorge this:

"Tittle tit, tittle too,
I touch tits and so can you!
tittle tee, tittle tat,
don't tittle people who are fat!
tittle tat, tittle tit,
tittle people who are fit!
tittle tut, tittle tee,
I got tittled by a tittle-billy!"

In some respects Mr. Talbot broke with a taboo issue by exposing this young artist's first work about our Rita. He'll get my bonus for awareness-building.

Alex said...

You wouldn't give a rat's ass about it, if our Rita was your mentally retarded neighbour and their parents approved her sexual abuse wouldn't you?

Could you say more things like this, please?

Jeff said...

Dreams to none are so fearful as to those whose accusing private guilt expects mischief every hour for their merit. Wonderful superstitious are such persons in observing every accident that befalls them; and that their superstition is as good as a hundred furies to torment them. Never in this world shall he enjoy one quiet day that once hath given himself over to be her slave. His ears cannot glow, his nose itch, or his eyes smart, but his destiny stands upon her trial, and till she be acquitted or condemned he is miserable.

Nasty Rita said...

Alex(ander), (you lazy bugger) it's you who should pipe up instead.

You wouldn't care a bloody crane's-bill or a rotten fig for it, if our Rita was your aunt from Leatherhead, having the Alzheimer's disease, getting raped by three attendants in the local old people's home - unless you become a helpless dodderer and will have your pee-pee cleaned by a chinese bull dyke...., wouldn't you?

In the near future there will be an invasion of chinese people taking care of the european overaged society. You are already a member of it.

Anonymous said...

Either there's a gas leak in my house that's messing with my brain and I can't read properly anymore or that says what I think it does. I don't care which is true, I'm laughing either way.

Nasty Rita said...

Jeff, who's one of the authors of your re-composition? I like it.

It may be true what he/she says, but I was not referring to any "private guilt", because justice should not begin nor end at home.

In former times we agreed on outsourcing it to judiciary, that's why justice has to be a public concern. It regards everyone of us, each member of the society, because we are human beings and that's what joins us together, not the mass media. We should feel responsable for disallowing that any member of our society has to suffer from injustice or violence, as soon as we observe it, not when it is already too late.

But people care less. They want to have none of it. It's more important to have the latest mobiles, craziest electronical gadgets, the biggest flatscreen TV (there it is again Mr. Talbot)and to be caught up in a traffic jam in the city centre with the new off-road vehicles than having a look at your neighbour.

They start campaigning virtually against surveillance techniques as if it were apocalypse, while on the other side of the wall, really close to them, a woman is being violated, a child neglected, an old man beaten up. Nobody sees it and nobody cares. Here, campaigning is about style, not content.

The campaigners think the state has nothing to do but to spy out their ordinary lives. If this was true, in England the number of unreported cases should be equal to zero. Congratulations!

I allege that that one of the real motives for campaigning so terrifiedly for the conservation of individual "privacy" is not having to get into touch with what's happening next door.

You can only help anybody to some extent and not anybody is dedicated to be a knight in shining armor, but I think indifference is not a private but a public guilt, and callousness towards real horror probably in part a consequence which is induced by constant consumption of virtual horror in movies or computer games, which makes you feel numb.

And our Rita's case, well, "that joke isn't funny anymore."

Nasty Rita said...

To Anonymous:

We should be so fair and reveal that we are talking about a misogynic "comic"- pretending-to-be, on the Ultraskull website, which is called "That's our Rita".

Alex said...

I thought that Our Rita (in the comic) was just confused. She goes out to get paper and comes back with grapes. She goes for bread and brings back an orgy! This says nothing of the enfeebled or handicapped.

My question to you, Rita, is this: when are YOU going to bring back the orgy?

Alex said...

Also: what kind of feminist can't spell "misogynistic"?

Nick Talbot said...

Just briefly popping my head back through the door- nice work guys, keep it up.

I notice Rita's posts have started getting longer again. Someone must have upset her again.

Rita: the longer your posts are, the less chance they have of being understood, or even read at all. Try as I might, I rarely make it to the end because I simply do not understand what you are talking about .

Nasty Rita said...

Alex, here you are:

"Boys at one with girls at peace;
Orgy-porgy gives release."

Most men are so simple-minded. Just drop "sexual", and they instantly come creeping out of the last holes like cock-roaches getting mould withdrawals...even Mr. Talbot - who should rather be gone hunting for bitches - had to throw in his twopenn'orth, inconsistently.

(There has been a mix-up, as I just noticed. In my mother tongue, "inkonsequent" is equivalent to "inconsistently". I didn't know that and got dazzled by the similar spelling of "inconsequential" and "inkonsequent". This is just an observation, no excuse.)

Alex, wusstest du denn, wie man "frauenverachtend" buchstabiert?

I'm not a feminist, I'm a woman. And I'd bet my botty on the fact that only a few women in this world are practising sexual intercourse with three men at once, because they like it, but rather, because they get forced to it or because some men need to buy this.

It doesn't matter, if Rita in the "comic" is handicapped or not, the portrayal per se (in itself)is humiliating. There is an imbalance of three men against one woman....

There are no other female readers on this blog.

If Mr. Talbot had at least called his protagonist "our Nicole", it would have been clear that he was just portraying his own sexual fantasies - nothing more.

Anonymous said...

Rita, you are incorrect, I am part of the female readership, and I did get the Ultraskull reference. My comment referred to the impenetrable comments you post, like Mr. Talbot (since you're being so formal) I just didn't have a clue what you were on about.

Nasty Rita said...

find me the chief editor. Tell him, I want to know, why there appear anonymous people who speak for him, while nobody stands up for me.

You are convinced, that Mr. Talbot doesn't know what I'm on about? Either you must be Mr. Talbot or his wife.

I don't owe you neither an explanation nor any justification. Since this is all about style and not content, like Mr. Talbot defined his interest in what people (on this blog)say, it doesn't matter if you understand it, or not. And don't take it too seriously!!!

"I don't understand you." is a common-place utterance of men all around the world when they are at loss. That doesn't impress me much.

It is all just an exercise in style like a finger exercise in music, as I presume also for Mr. Talbot's part this time:

Mr. Talbot refines his style in playing the guitar and I refine mine in playing upon words, because I'm better at reading foreign-language-texts than at reading music.
Mr. Talbot donates his impenetrating lyrics and posts about human shits on his front-door to the world, and I donate my appearingly cryptic comments to whomever they may concern.

Why should I be the only person on this blog to answer in a straightforward, full and frankly and intelligible manner to somebody or anybody, who comes across as elusive, mendacious and inventive? And on the top of everything, as arrogant, because as chief editor he judges dismissively what is a boring anecdote, while his readers have to be careful with criticism.

Don't take this too personally, we don't know each other.

Caution, kiddies, put on your earmuffs:

Don't piss in my neck and say it's raining.

Nasty Rita said...

Don't piss on my neck, sorry.

So, what are you sinking about "our Rita"?

Or check this out:

Alex said...

Rita: if your style of wordplay is so refined, howcome it's gibberish?

You use words like "straightforward" "full" "frank" and "intelligible" to describe your posts thusfar. You are mistaken.

Or, to put it in terms you can understand: for nine years, officials know iron bars and toenail structure. What of it? Forthwith, a landowner's dessicated football practice he finds in ruins. Over the hills, but you wouldn't say "mimsy" to an apple-cheeked footsoldier of Nestlé, fork?

Nasty Rita said...

...and far away, she prays he will return one day...

Alex, don't stand so close to me, (although we could be from the same kidney), probably the boys will call you a sissy.

You're going overboard - I'm not that autistic and I'm not describing my posts as straightforward, but I asked for a good reason why they should be, if I look at what's surrounding me above and beneath my poor post.

Hey, we've got free run of the house - what's up? I thought of relieving magical Mr. Mistopheles, so that he can concentrate on musing about his March-mallows. This time YOU are free to take up arms. Any proposal for what really makes you tick? Spoon.

Owen said...

This degenerative tide of verbosity makes my mind squelch. Can we all sign a Rationality Treaty?

Nasty Rita said...

"Trying to please all these people around me is trying to reach for the moon. I see their faces looking so empty saying: I hope that she'll finish soon." (Entertain me.)

Owen, reading my posts might as well train your multi-tasking-skills. There might be generated new synapses or junctions between the neurones. Your speech centre might be stimulated by my verbosity. You might benenefit from it one day, if you are not already too overstimulated.

Being British, and consequently a native speaker of a universal language, you might not appreciate the efforts non-native speakers have to face in learning and practising foreign languages, while you just open your mouth and let the words come right out, whereever you are.

I sometimes use the dictionary to understand your posts completely or to write comments. My effort in understanding you and in communicating with you is somewhat bigger, if I may be so presumptuous. For you, it's understood to be understood. If you speak about an English local politician or make allusions which are referred to an English TV-programme, for ex. it is even harder for me to understand what you are talking about. I have to look it up as well.

I should be up to date in four foreign languages which I have to practice in part, and being up to date is not that easy. In my country, a non-native English speaker is obliged to possess an excellent knowledge of English and preferably or at least two other foreign languages, if he/she wants to apply for a job which is "acceptable" in some degree. And don't think you'll get rewarded for it, it's a precondition.

Sometimes I use lines of English lyrics, because I can remember words which are accompanied by music or words which rhyme in a better way than out of any context. And on top of it, these ready-made word patterns are sort of support columns on which I can fall back, like building a house out of prefabricated compound units. I cannot always form completely new sentences in a language which is not my mother tongue, because think it's normal to go back on boilerplates you learned off by heart or which you have heard or read, isn't it? I don't know if you do the same in French? Would you rather say "J'en ai marre." or Johnny Marr?

Nasty Rita said...

Mr Talbot, would you please reclaim my Flashlight seasons-cd-cover at your converter? I have wept on it and now it fell apart. There's "glue flaps" written on the flaps. Could you please tell them to use a stronger glue?
Only as a matter of form...

Owen said...

Well Rita, your vocabulary is excellent and would certainly embarrass my wretched attempts at French. It's only comments like 'There's "glue flaps" written on the flaps' that make me think I'm talking to a Dali painting. Nice to meet you by the way :-)

Nasty Rita said...

Thank you, Owen, for upgrading me to a Dali's painting level. That makes me be unpayable. I already was before, but it's the nicest compliment (I'll take it as such) I ever got, so far.

(« Je suis possédé par autrui;le regard d’autrui façonne mon corps dans sa nudité, le fait naître, le sculpte, le produit comme il est, le voit comme je ne le verrai jamais. Autrui détient un secret, le secret de ce que je suis » J.P. Sartre)

I think I would like to be the "dream caused by the flight of a bee around a pomegranate, one second before the awakening" with Gala, hovering above a flag, the spindly legged elephant and the two tigers attacking her, one of them coming out of an erected fish-mouth.
If you deconsctruct the above mentioned cover, you'll find the glue-flaps, it's true. I also like the picture inside of the cover. It triggered a dream which was much more beauteous than the picture itself. I(really)dreamt that I was sitting in a huge observation-wheel and the dark sky above me was spangled with glittering origami-figures. The most beautiful thing was, that in my dream I could see them all in detail and they were different, not only birds. This also happens (unfortunately rarely) with wonderful landscapes I dream of. I wonder, how my brain can produce thousands of such complicated, detailed origami figures while I sleep. I'd never be able to reproduce one of them by my own hand. I eagerly await the day on which we will be able to take a photographic picture of our dream.
Of course voluntarily.

Nasty Rita said...

Also to Owen, Alex and to whom it may concern, regarding the impossibility of being palpably, unambiguously, clear-cut and unequivocally:

Especially to Jeff: I just don't eat anything that's being put in front of me. If you offer me shellfish and sea urchins, I'll ask for a pierce to break up the crust and see what is underneath, before gobbling it up.

Eat me, whenever you like to, but keep in mind that it's not going to be a feast, for I'm a few fries short of a Happy meal. ;D

Anonymous said...

nasty rita is incomprehensible.

Anonymous said...

Hermetism or Hermeticism

"Modernist poetic movement originating in Italy in the early 20th century.

Works produced within the movement are characterized by unorthodox structure, illogical sequences, and highly subjective language. Its formalistic devices were partly derived from Futurism, but the cryptic brevity, obscurity, and involution of the Hermetics was forced on them by fascist censors. Giuseppe Ungaretti, Salvatore Quasimodo, and Eugenio Montale were the principal exponents of the movement, which was named for Hermes Trismegistos, a reputed author of occult symbolic works."

"Hermetism is based on French poet Paul Valery's idea that any given poem can be read in a myriad different ways and that poetry's aim is to find the words that best describe life's uniqueness and complexity.(...) The movement was criticized for not being in touch with reality."

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Hey Nick. Great gig in Crawdaddy the other night, and thanks for signing my album! Song of the night: 'Down River'

Anonymous said...

You played Down River? One of my favs...

Anonymous said...

Suzanne Vega:

"Once I thought only tears could make us free
Salt wearing down to the bone
Like sand against the stone
Against the shoreline

I am friend to the undertow
I take you in, I don't let go"

(I never let go...)

Kate Bush:

"It's wonderful.
Everywhere, so white.
The river has frozen over.
Not a soul on the ice.
Only me skating fast.
I'm speeding past trees,
Leaving little lines in the ice,
Splitting, splitting sound,
Silver heels spitting, spitting snow.

("Sonar says...deep...")

There's something moving
Under, under the ice,
Moving under ice,
Through water,
Trying to get out of the cold water.
"It's me."
Something, someone--help them.
"It's me.""

Anonymous said...


"It was only a test
But she swam too far
Against the tide
She deserves all she gets
The sky became marked with stars
As an out-stretched arm slowly
Disappears "

Henny Penny said...

I've come to wish you an Unhappy Easter:

grimtooth said...

man...i stopped reading your blog a while ago, to my surprise you allready got some mentally retarded spammers working double shift in the comments. this rita dude should stop writing old russian novels in the comment section.

it hurts...ohhh it hurts

ps: interimtintin

Rita said...

And you look like a bowl of alphabet soup that spells nothing...

I admit though that your crap made me laugh, but for you: "Rita-babe", man.

These ill-mannered 'mericanos don't give a flying fuck about good style...

Alex said...

And you look like a bowl of alphabet soup that spells nothing...

Oh yeah? Well you're like school in summertime.

Rita said...

Alex, you're so sweet, I'd get a mouthful of metal, if you were the candy-man...'s another one for you (because I know you like it :-):

I don't give a flying rat's fart about being "like school in summertime".

P.S. You're Jeff(rey)Alex(ander), aren't you?

Alex said...

Why the fuck would I be Jeffrey Alexander?

The "school in summertime" was a reference to your insults sounding like Fat Albert.

Anonymous said...

i bet she even looks like fat albert.

Beth said...

I'm starting to wonder if Rita might have schitzophasia. If she does we're all being really insensitive.

Anonymous said...

i like being "insensitive"

Rita said...

Mr. Talbot, I kept my promise to reanimate this blog and I think you've got nothing to moan about. Alex and me are good teamplayers, I worked on the nightshift. This is the largest thread ever, since you created this blog. Italo-german stamina and workmanship.

Who the fuck is fat Albert? I bet he is not known overseas/on the continent. Alex, I just cling to the "Rules of banter" chapter in my book, "Watching the English", by Kate Fox, where she puts it

"In most other cultures, flirtation and courtship involve exchanges of compliments: among the English, you are more likely to hear exchanges of insults. Well, mock-insults, to be precise. "Banter", we call it, and it is one of our most popular forms of verbal interaction generally (on a par with moaning), as well as our main flirting method."

So I just try to adapt myself to your weird English standards: express myself ass-backwards.

If I gave Beth half penny for her comment, I'd get change back. "Insensitive" is not the right word, darling, it's "deadened and blunted, unimaginative and fanciless" what you are. I don't give Alex'es hairy scrotum about your splutter. Caution: This was no "banter", I'm straight.

And I'm tall. Some girls are bigger than others. Me always. 1,80 metres. I don't know what it would be in inches or feet. A friend of mine said: "You look like Bambi": long knock-knees, copper-golden highlights and doe-eyes. That should be enough for the moment.

Marion said...

Hello Nick,
well, what a strange comment section. quite interesting, in some ways.. we smoke the cigarette you don't usually smoke, few month ago. you were nice. hope you're fine, hope you're writing. bye. marion comet

Rita said...

Hey, hey, hey,

no wonder that you smoked, there's quite little interesting in the comments for sober people...

I found fat Albert. He is not known on the continent, we only watched the Bill Cosby show with his "family". It's rather the urban dictionary by which I got influenced verbally. And by Kate Fox:

"The key ingredients of flirtatious banter are all very English: humour, particularly irony; wordplay; argument; cynicism; mock-aggression; teasing; indirectness - all our favourite things. And banter specifically excludes all the things we don't like and that make us uncomfortable: emotion, soppiness, earnestness and clarity." p.336

I don't apologize for being self-referential or for using references which aren't easy to identify, I never expected anybody wanting to "understand" me, in the classical sense.

I think Mr. Talbot should show up again with some new post, in order to deplace me, before the comments section becomes a discussion forum for the state of mind of a cartoon character brought to life...

Enjoy the Peter Beckett Group:

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